I’m not one to support die-hard nationalism. Having too much pride in your country can make you forget about the importance of the rest of the world (you should still forget Antarctica and Gabon). The last thing we want to do at Hella Grip is alienate our international brothers and sisters and slothsters. So please forgive me when I say that I couldn’t help but chant “USA! USA! USA!” when opening the packages of our new Hella Grip design. What we’ve got for you is a sheet of grip that’s both wider and longer than our Hella Classic grip, for those who enjoy shaping the grip exactly to your object’s dimension. We also chose to stamp the sheet with our small OG Sloth logo, for those who like to see more of the natural grip surface. BUT, my favorite aspect of the new design, and the reason for my little spout of patriotism, is that you have the option of buying the sloth logo in the always-beautifully-classic Radical-Red, Wicked-White or Bodacious-Blue. We’ve even developed matching beverage koozies (I prefer to use my koozie for those 40oz’s of freedom…doesn’t get more American than that).

Regardless of the U.S.A-influenced design on our latest batch of Hella Grip, I must reiterate that we never want to alienate anyone outside this lovely, fast-food-filled fun zone. SO, here’s a list of countries where purchasing the Red-White-Blue package will also make sense for you, given your nation’s flag colors:

(in alphabetical order)

Australia (Definitely will help sales)

Cambodia (They shred hard)

Chile (I prefer beef stew)

Costa Rica (HOME OF THE SLOTH!!!)

Croatia (HOME OF…?)

Cuba (Hell Yea! Too bad for the embargo…try going through Canada)

Czech Republic (Check Republic)

Dominican Republic (Too many republics)

France (Also very good for sales)

Haiti (Don’t hate)

Iceland (Hella Grip space heaters coming soon)

Laos (I hate lice)

Liberia (Sounds like a nation of books)

Luxembourg (Who?)

Malaysia (What?)

Myanmar (Where?)

New Zealand (Not so new now, are you?)

The Netherlands (weed)

Nepal (death)

North Korea (Hell Yea! Please don’t kill us)

Panama (we’re just passing through…get it)

Paraguay (you’re a gay)

The Republic of China (stop cheating)

Russia (Gotta step up your game…no disrespect)

Samoa (Can I have samoa tea please?)

Serbia (you guys are all evil in our movies)

Slovakia (you’re evil in our movies too)

Slovenia (you’re really evil in our movies)

South Korea (you’re are homies…technically)

Thailand (meh)

The United Kingdom (Hey, you’re united too?…Badass!)

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